13 Lessons I Haven’t Learned As An Adult

These are all my perspective and to be taken very lightly. 

1. The appropriate time to wake up on the weekend.

I realize this will change once we have kids but we are not there yet so let me be. I feel as though once you hit a certain age, sleeping in the way you did as a college student is frowned upon, however waking up early on your day off is a real bummer too so I don’t know, man. Why is it that when we reach adulthood, everyone likes to talk about sleep so much? How many hours we did or didn’t get the night before. What time we wake up and go to bed. Why are we all so interested in each other’s sleep cycles? It’s weird. All I know is that I am a full eight-hours-a-night kind of girl. More sleep, better me. Just ask my husband.

2. The best place to grocery shop.

This is like picking your college football team as an adult and I really just don’t know whose side I am on here. There is so much pressure, so many options and every place makes me feel different. I have realized when you grow up, you find yourself in conversations about this predicament often and I am not sure why. I mean, I will engage in said debate over why I choose one store over the other, but why do people make it seem like I  must stay true to ONE store for the rest of my life? I changed my major SIX times in college. I can’t make these kinds of life decisions and this is obviously a pattern for me. Self-awareness is the first step, right?

3. At what point the laundry cycle ends.

I really don’t think I want to know the answer to this.

4. How to contour.

I have about three make-up brushes I use everyday and I honestly do not know what they are actually supposed to do for my face. More power to anyone who can do all the things and know all the things when it comes to applying makeup because I am obviously winging it here. Maybe one day I will have the patience to watch the Youtube videos and have the extra cash money to buy nice brushes for those parts of my face I don’t even know the name of, but until then I will stick to my $6 Walgreens mascara and eyeliner. I know, I am judging me too.

5. Appropriate email sign-off verbiage

I am still trying to find the perfect balance between professionalism and wanting them to know there is an actual human being on the other side of the screen. Sincerely seems intimate, I am not trying to write a letter to a soldier at war. Anything with the word “love” seems too forward. I don’t really know you, so I can’t decide if I love you like that. Usually, I stick to “thanks!” but why am I even thanking them? Thanks for reading my email because about 28% of the working population (very made up, fake statistic) actually does that! How do I appropriately portray personality and warmness while keeping it professional? What about, “Thanks for reading this email sorry I don’t know what kind of mood you’re in today and if you need an exclamation point at the end of this, or if I should just sign my name here even though it’s CLEARLY stated in my email address. Have a great day. (!, if needed)” Nailed it.

6. Curling and blow drying my hair.

No matter how many times my hairdresser tells me that I can for sure DIY this Olympic sport at home, I literally cannot. I give up on my hair ever looking anything similar to the way it does when I leave a haircut. There is a reason we like to take 1 million selfies in our car afterwards. Because we all know that once we are left to our own extremely hot and expensive devices, our hair will never look as good as it does in that exact moment. Related, dry shampoo saves lives.

7. My credit score and what determines it..?

This is basically a grade for how well you’re doing at grown-up stuff. I do not know who is keeping score or how they determine points, but someone is out there judging us HARD. I wish they would get to know me before throwing such an important number at me like that. Can good deeds go towards our scores, because they should. What about all the times I let those cars merge in front of me on the road turning into a one lane when they had 100 miles to get over before cutting in front of me? 1000 CREDIT SCORE POINTS FOR ME, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. Is there a point keeping person I can take to coffee and tell them how good I try to be? How do I online chat with the person keeping track of my credit score? Please advise.

8. How to fill out a W-4 form.

There are certain times in life when using a pen feels VERY STRESSFUL. For example, when taking a math test, also when filling out a government document. Why does this specific, important document have so many words but you only write like 2.5 little marks on it? No matter how many times I fill this out, I don’t think I will  ever not call my dad for help. There is a reason I had to take Accounting 1 twice in college before changing my major to journalism and I don’t know if that actually has anything to do with W-4 forms, but it feels like it should.

9. Which fork is used for salad and which is used for not salads.

All forks should be created and used equally.

10. What business casual even means.

I do not work in a corporate setting, mainly because of this reason right here. And a few more reasons. But honestly, what IS business casual? Because business sounds like fancy pant suits and casual sounds like me on my couch in leggings while watching Netflix. I am sure there is no way these two things can coexist. I am also positive that pant suits, or anything you wear to an event involving business casual dress code, does not feel nearly as comfortable as my leggings and couch does.

11. How the stock market works.

I know so little about how the stock market works that I literally do not have anything more to write than this sentence.

12.  When you stop needing your parents.     

I’m realizing the older I get the more I actually want to listen to their advice, hang out and be friends with them. I don’t think parenting really ends once you hit a certain age and as their child, you don’t appreciate that until you become an adult yourself and realize this whole time your parents are way more for you than they are against you. At least, that has been my personal experience. But nothing will ever make up for the teenage years they had to endure with us (me). I recognize there comes a time when we have to stop relying on our parents for all the things, but I’m just thankful that even though this is the year I will officially graduate from my parent’s insurance plan, it doesn’t mean I have to stop using my dad’s Netflix account. It’s the little things, really.

13. How after all those years of schooling, I never took a class on any of the above

But thank goodness I learned the quadratic formula because that sure has been useful out here in the real world!! Of course, it may have been a bit much to actually take a class on the best place to grocery shop or appropriate sleep cycles, but it would have been nice to, at the very least, been given more instruction on REAL LIFE things. Here are a few courses I think we could have benefited from in all those years of school: emotional intelligence, how to do your taxes, things to start doing that will increase your credit score, anything about insurance, budgeting and why it matters, common car salesman tricks, career path expectations, just to name a few. I think people put high expectations on us to know all the things there is to know because we earned a college degree, and I might have been in college for five years but that doesn’t mean I was fully prepared for life once I graduated.

If you’re anything like me, you’re just a young adult out here trying to make the best of it. One of the best things my husband and I have done, as we both are in our twenties and figuring out a lot of this together, is how important it is for us to have people in our lives who are in the same season as us. It makes this whole growing up thing a little easier when there’s people who can laugh with you as we all try to do our best with what we know. The list of things above are meant to be humorous and from my own perspective because I am learning that I can’t take all of this adult stuff too seriously. Of course, filing your taxes on time and having life insurance are serious and very boring things about growing up, but that’s not all there is to it. Growing up means I am in the process of gaining more wisdom, insight and experience in my life while trying to make sure I can laugh at myself when I do not understand, which is most of the time. I am thankful for the 25 years I have experienced so far, for what I am learning along the way and for the people around me I get to share it all with. The good, the bad and the WTH why didn’t anyone tell us this stuff.

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