if there was a millennial olympics

You already know where this is going. Stay with me.

Since I am a part of the participation trophy generation, I believe there are every day millennial activities that could be successful in the form of a Hunger Games/Olympic-type situation. Think of this like curling, there will be a lot of confused adults watching athletes do the very least to try and win a medal. Just need to make sure there are enough medals for every participant. No millennial left behind.

Here are a few of the sports I came up with…

AVOCADO TOAST MAKING COMPETITION- It might seem like you’re “just putting mashed up fruit on a piece of bread” but IT IS SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT, MOM.

KEEPING THE SNAP STREAK ALIVE OVER THE TWO WEEK PERIOD- This requires so much determination, focus and commitment. Sending pictures of ceiling fans, cups of coffee, and unflattering selfies back and forth all day just so you can have the fire emoji next to a name. This can make or break friendships, or in this case countries teams. Underestimated sport by many, but if you know then you know.

GETTING YOUR MAKEUP TO LOOK JUST LIKE IT SHOULD AT THE END OF THE MAKEUP TUTORIAL- Honestly, shoutout to anyone who has ever accomplished this. A feat many of us will never know the satisfaction of having. We applaud you for your smokey eye not looking like scary Halloween makeup. This is truly a practice makes perfect sport. Not everyone is cut out for the amount of time, tears and failure that went into getting them this far in life.

ANY KIND OF GROUP EXERCISE CLASS- Millennials LOVE group exercise classes. Something about never doing anything alone and the brunch that is always promised afterwards. Finally, we can see some real sweat and tears in these games. By that I mean it’s just a hot yoga class every morning, the last sweaty person still in a headstand wins, or something like that. This is a co-ed activity. The guys are there because lululemon leggings and the girls are there because well…also, lululemon leggings.

INSTAGRAM LIVE OF YOU TEACHING YOUR PARENTS WHAT NEW WORDS/PHRASES MEAN (i.e. lit, bet, fye, living your best life, etc.)- This one is a lot like Winter Olympic sports, you’re frustrated because no one knows what anything is and you spend more time searching the meaning on Google than actually watching it.

So, that is just to name a few. I think I am on to something here. Tokyo 2020, watch out.



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