if there was a millennial olympics

You already know where this is going. Stay with me.

Since I am a part of the participation trophy generation, I believe there are every day millennial activities that could be successful in the form of a Hunger Games/Olympics situation. Like the sport of curling, there will be a lot of confused adults watching us do the very least to win a medal. No millennial left behind.

Here are a few of the sports categories in consideration with no official Olympics committee.

AVOCADO TOAST MAKING COMPETITION- It might seem like you’re “just putting mashed up fruit on a piece of bread” but IT IS SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT, MOM.

GETTING YOUR MAKEUP TO LOOK EXACTLY LIKE THE MAKEUP ARTIST’S TUTORIAL- Honestly, shoutout to anyone who has ever accomplished this. We applaud you for your smokey eye. This is truly a practice makes perfect sport.

ANY KIND OF GROUP EXERCISE CLASS- Millennials LOVE group exercise classes. Something about never doing anything alone and the brunch that is always promised afterwards. Finally, we can see some real sweat and tears in these games because, hot yoga. This is a co-ed sport. The guys are there because lululemon leggings and the girls are there because well, lululemon leggings and brunch.

INSTAGRAM LIVE TEACHING PARENTS NEW WORDS/PHRASES MEAN- This one is a lot like Winter Olympic sports. You’re frustrated because no one knows what anything is and you spend more time researching the meaning on Google than actually watching the competition.

I think I am on to something here. Where do I submit my application for Tokyo 2021?


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